Hurricane Naming Rights

So you have Tropical Depression Tammy heading into Frorida. You have the NOAA running out of names because they refuse to use a name that starts with Q. Or a U. Or, X, Y or Z. If Vince and Wilma form, they're moving on to Alpha and Beta.

You have people arguing to cut the funding of the NOAA. The obvious solution, of course, is offering hurricane naming rights to corporations ... or, really, to anyone. The most surprising thing here is why no one thought of this sooner. Oh wait ... people have.

First, there were silly names for college bowl games. And, now, pretty much every stadium out there has sold naming rights. Why not hurricanes?

Here's the deal. You pay nothing to get on the list. So take your chance and put "Hurricane Joe's Barber Shop" at the end of the list, and hope they don't get to you. But, given recent trends, the odds aren't with you.

If your storm forms, you pay a sliding scale to the NOAA based on how severe it becomes. Tropical Depression Microsoft would only cost Bill gates maybe $100,000. But Category 2 Hurricane Halliburton might cost a million. And Category 5 Hurricane Exxon/Mobil would cost $10 MM.

More importantly, each company agrees to pay up to $50 MM in recovery costs should their storm cause damage somewhere. This way, no one will complain about the arrangement. It's not as crass to have Hurricane eBay mentioned all over the world when people know you've put yourself on the line to help out.

We could open this up to anyone. For a really special gift for a loved one, you can offer Hurricane Happy 50th birthday Tom Swanson!. Or, for the one-of-a-kind proposal, forget about the scoreboard at [Insert Name of Large Company Here] Field, and go for Trpical Depression Sally Will You Marry Me?.

In 2008, maybe your political contribution will lead to Hurricane Vote Clinton for President. If they time it right, maybe that one will form in late October, just before the election.

It's only a matter of time.